Mental Health Therapy for Self Esteem and Self Worth
Self-esteem defined
Self-esteem and self-worth shape how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world. When we feel good about who we are, we’re more likely to pursue our goals, build healthy relationships, and handle life’s ups and downs with resilience. But when our self-esteem is low, it can cloud everything—from our thoughts and emotions to our decisions and behaviours.
Many people struggle with feeling “not good enough.” You might find yourself constantly second-guessing your abilities, downplaying your accomplishments, or harshly criticizing yourself for even small mistakes. These patterns can develop early in life and become deeply ingrained, often leaving you feeling stuck, anxious, or even ashamed.
The good news is that self-esteem isn’t fixed. With the right support and guidance, it’s entirely possible to shift these negative patterns and build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with yourself. Therapy offers a safe and supportive space to explore where these feelings come from, understand how they impact your life, and learn tools to foster self-acceptance and self-confidence.
Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, relationship challenges, past trauma, or simply a harsh inner critic, healing begins with understanding—and that’s where therapy for self-esteem and self-worth can make a meaningful difference.
Understanding self-esteem and self-worth
Self-esteem and self-worth are often used interchangeably, but they have slightly different meanings. Self-esteem refers to how we evaluate ourselves—our abilities, qualities, and overall sense of value. It’s the internal dialogue that says, “I am capable,” “I am lovable,” or sometimes, “I am not good enough.” Self-worth, on the other hand, is the more fundamental belief that you are inherently valuable and deserving of love, respect, and care—just as you are.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we recognize both our strengths and areas for growth without letting our flaws define us. We can accept ourselves and treat ourselves with kindness, even when things don’t go perfectly.
But when self-esteem is low, our view of ourselves becomes harsh and critical. You may frequently think, “I’m a failure,” “I’m unattractive,” or “I don’t matter.” These kinds of thoughts can make it difficult to feel confident, pursue opportunities, or form meaningful relationships.
Common signs of low self-esteem
- Persistent self-criticism or self-doubt
- Feeling undeserving of happiness or success
- Avoiding challenges for fear of failure
- Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
- People-pleasing or struggling to set boundaries
- Emotional withdrawal or over-dependence on others’ approval
Where does low self-esteem come from?
Low self-esteem often develops over time, influenced by early life experiences such as:
- Criticism or neglect from caregivers
- Bullying or social rejection
- Abuse or traumatic experiences
- Unrealistic standards in family, school, or society
- Internalizing stress or difficult circumstances around you
These experiences can give rise to deep-seated negative core beliefs—thoughts like “I am worthless” or “I don’t belong.” In an attempt to avoid feeling this pain, we might develop rigid “rules” for how we must behave: “I must always please others,” “I must be perfect,” or “I must never show weakness.” While these rules may seem protective, they often reinforce our negative beliefs and set us up for disappointment.
Understanding the roots of your low self-esteem is the first step toward change. Therapy helps uncover how these patterns were formed and teaches you how to rewrite the narrative in a more compassionate and empowering way.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
How low self-esteem is maintained
Low self-esteem doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—and it rarely fades on its own. Once it takes hold, certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviours work together to keep it going. You might not even realize these patterns are operating in the background, but they can deeply influence how you think, feel, and respond to life.
Negative core beliefs
At the heart of low self-esteem are negative core beliefs—deeply rooted ideas about yourself that feel absolute, such as “I am unlovable,” “I am a failure,” or “I am not good enough.” These beliefs are often formed through early life experiences and can remain dormant until triggered by a stressful or challenging situation.
Unhelpful rules and assumptions
To cope with these painful beliefs, many people create rigid internal “rules” or assumptions. For example:
“I must not make mistakes”
“I must always keep others happy”
“If I don’t succeed, I’m worthless”
These rules may help us function in the short term, but they’re often unrealistic and exhausting to maintain. When we inevitably can’t meet them, our negative beliefs get activated again, reinforcing the cycle.
Biased expectations
People with low self-esteem often expect things to go wrong. You might assume you’ll fail a presentation, be judged at a social event, or disappoint others. These biased expectations create anxiety and often lead to avoiding situations altogether—or overpreparing and striving for perfection just to feel safe.
Negative self-evaluations
When self-esteem is low, your inner dialogue often becomes harsh, judgmental, and unforgiving. These negative self-evaluations are not just fleeting thoughts—they’re deeply critical ways of viewing yourself that can influence your emotions, behaviour, and decisions. They tend to arise in moments when your inner rules or assumptions are challenged, especially in situations where you feel vulnerable or exposed. When things don’t go as planned—or even when they do—you might harshly judge yourself. “I sounded stupid,” “I should have done better,” “I’ll never get it right.” These negative self-evaluations are often exaggerated and unfair, and they erode your confidence over time.
Unhelpful behaviours
All of this leads to behaviours that keep self-esteem low, such as:
Avoiding challenges or opportunities
Withdrawing from social situations
Overworking or striving for perfection
Neglecting self-care or engaging in self-destructive habits
These actions prevent you from gaining the evidence you need to challenge your negative beliefs. For instance, if you avoid giving a presentation because you fear failure, you miss the chance to prove to yourself that you can do well. This cycle of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviours can become automatic—but the good news is that it’s possible to break it. Therapy can help you recognize these patterns, understand where they come from, and gradually change them through compassionate self-awareness and practice.
Building healthy self-esteem through therapy
The journey to better self-esteem is not about becoming perfect—it’s about learning to see yourself through a more realistic, kind, and balanced lens. Therapy provides a supportive space to explore your inner world, challenge old beliefs, and practice new ways of thinking and behaving.
Therapeutic approaches that help
Several evidence-based approaches are effective in treating low self-esteem:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):
CBT helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns, adjust unhelpful rules and assumptions, and build more balanced self-evaluations. It encourages you to test out new behaviours and see yourself through a fairer lens.Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):
ACT focuses on accepting difficult thoughts and feelings rather than trying to eliminate them. It supports you in committing to actions that align with your values, helping you move forward even when self-doubt is present.EMDR Therapy:
If past experiences or trauma contribute to your low self-worth, EMDR can help reprocess those memories, reduce their emotional impact, and build new, healthier beliefs about yourself.
In therapy, you’re not just talking about your struggles—you’re actively learning tools and strategies that support lasting change.
Strategies and skills taught in therapy
Therapy for self-esteem is hands-on and empowering. It helps you move from self-criticism to self-compassion by teaching you to:
Identify and adjust negative core beliefs: Understand where they come from and gather evidence to create more balanced, realistic self-beliefs.
Challenge negative self-evaluations: Use thought diaries and guided exercises to respond to critical inner voices with more supportive, rational thinking.
Recognize and reframe biased expectations: Learn to anticipate situations more accurately instead of assuming the worst.
Create new, flexible rules and assumptions: Replace rigid “musts” and “shoulds” with healthier, more compassionate standards for yourself.
Acknowledge your strengths and positive traits: Start keeping a “Positive You Journal” to counterbalance years of overlooking your strengths.
Practice self-care and boundary-setting: Treat yourself as someone worthy of respect and rest—because you are.
These tools don’t just boost self-esteem—they can also improve your mood, relationships, and overall well-being.
The benefits of healthy self-esteem
Healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean you never feel self-doubt. It means you can recognize your worth, even when things are hard, and treat yourself with compassion instead of criticism. When you begin to value yourself more, many areas of your life start to shift in positive ways. With healthier self-esteem, you might notice:
More confidence and motivation
Greater resilience during stress or setbacks
Improved relationships—with more openness, honesty, and boundaries
Reduced anxiety and depression
A deeper sense of purpose and belonging
Therapy options at Mendable
At Mendable, we offer personalized therapy for individuals struggling with self-esteem, self-worth, and related concerns. Whether you’re dealing with relationship issues, trauma, anxiety, depression, or perfectionism, we’re here to help. Not sure where to begin? Learn more about choosing a therapist or reach out to our team to get started.
We offer:
One-on-one therapy sessions in-person or through online therapy
Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, EMDR, and trauma-informed care
A warm, inclusive environment where all parts of you are welcome
Final thoughts
You are not alone in struggling with self-esteem. Many people silently battle with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and shame. But the truth is, you deserve to see yourself through a lens of kindness, to recognize your worth, and to live a life that reflects your true value. Therapy can be a powerful first step in that direction. It’s a space to understand your past, reshape your present, and build a future rooted in confidence and self-respect. If you’re ready to begin, we’re here to walk alongside you every step of the way.
Psychologist in Edmonton | Contact Us
Mendable Psychology | Edmonton Psychologists | Mental Health Counselling
Office located in Mayfield West Edmonton
- (587) 415-0850
- 10458 Mayfield Rd NW, Edmonton, AB
- [email protected]
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